The Hard Times

So we have had a rough week with Lily.

I wasn't kidding when I said that she is an angel unless she is teething.

And she is teething hard right now.  Working on that last "hippo tooth."

She is crabby, and won't eat and won't sleep and is generally making life horrific for everyone in the house.

The not eating is especially bad because she is in feeding therapy, and I spend an obscene amount of time thinking about what to feed her.  Thinking of textures and tastes and nutrition.  Planning meals for Lily.  Spending hours trying to get her to eat.  She is anemic.  And it is dietary induced anemia.  For the first year of life she existed on expressed breast milk.  Then she switched to cow milk.  Neither of which have iron.  So I worry and try and give her roughly eleventy billion opportunities to eat every day instead of just giving her the bottle she really wants.

And she isn't eating.

Because her mouth hurts.

And the not sleeping is especially bad because I do not do well with sleep deprivation.  In college I could stay up cramming the night before a test, ace the test, and then go dancing all night the next night.  But now?  I'm dying.  I'm actively praying for the sweet release of death.   And I'm kinda hoping there isn't an afterlife because I just want the sweet oblivion of nothingness for a bit.  Like a Buddist nirvana afterlife, floating with the energy of the universe for a time.

We did take our Sweet Lily Bean to the pediatrician to be sure it was only teething and not something more serious.

After an thorough examination it was determined to be teething but she threw in a referral to an ENT just for fun because while they weren't infected Lily's tonsils were very very large.  Because what we need is another specialist.  She also suggested we give Lily 5ml of benadryl at bedtime so we ALL can get some sleep.

It didn't help.

I am exhausted.  And last night I discovered that if you turn the new baby monitor all the way down to the lowest setting it doesn't make the cries quiet, it puts the baby monitor on mute.

Awesome.

I slept through the night last night, but from Lily's attitude this morning I'm guessing she had a rough night and she was pretty cranky about it.

So really no blogging.

Too tired to string words into sentences.

Too tired to take pictures.

Teething stinks.